The Final Assesment

10.02.2015

I felt like I did my best on both my contemporary monologues, however I know that my classical could have gone a lot better as there could have been more movement and I did mess up on some words. I am glad that this happened though because now when I go to my drama school auditions I will know what not to do in front of the panel.
  I have planned now some more actions to use when saying things, and how I will hold myself too as I didn't have much going on, I didn't feel like it was interesting at all. I would put this all down to the fact that this was the monologue that I had the least time to do with the last minute change. It was "OK" for a classical monologue but in comparison to my other two it was poor.
  Next time I would hold myself for properly, pace around the stage, look into different directions like I am confused about what to do in this situation, and use emotion memory too for different parts in it. Another thing would be that I didn't really understand what was going on but now I have a better idea so I can now develop what I have already done to further and better the monologue.
  My two contemporary monologues were probably the best I have ever performed them, I think it was because of nerves as the two characters are very frustrated its easier when I'm nervous to be more loud because if I don't I know that I will go too quiet so I push it even more than normal. I enjoyed performing them, they worked really well and even though they were both quite similar they still had enough contrast to be different.
  I felt like both were interesting to watch and quite exciting too as it was a story, where as the classical everyone has heard before. I am pleased with the three monologues that I chose, they worked well with my vocal range and my personality too. They made me change things up and be more expressive in my face so I have also learnt how to do some more things to give me a wider range in  my acting techniques too.
  Overall I enjoyed the experience and I now know where to improve for next time. It has also give me more confidence in how I perform them and should then help me in my future auditions too.

The performance and my final pieces

5.02.2014

The Lady and the Clarinet by Micheal Cristofer
Before my monologue happens Luba has "hired a clarinettist to provide background music for a very special candlelight dinner. She drinks wine as she prepares for her guest, all the while telling the clarinet player about the men in her past. "I've only had three men in my life. I've had more than three, but three, only were- are still- do still mean anything." As the evening progresses, we meet all three: Paul, Luba's gawky first lover; Jack, a married ad executive with whom she had an affair; and George, her eventual husband. The clarinet underscores everything.

In the memory scene, Jack and Luba have now been involved for two years. He tells her, "I hate my whole life . . . I have everything I ever wanted, and I hate it all." But he won't leave his wife. After he goes, Luba laces into the clarinet player. "Cut the music, will you? What are you, feeling sentimental? You were really getting into that one."

  Luba sounds like a very strong minded, powerful yet venerable woman. I love this character because of how she is, her strength is amazing even though she has been put down so much by many other people. She seems like the type of person like me, I relate to her in some ways like how she seems like she very much lives in a “dream world”. I like how she thinks that anything is possible, she falls in love quite easily and she moves on in her life when she has to. She is very independent as a person and shows this in how she gets over heart break so much through the play. She takes things on the chin and doesn’t dwell on anything negative, she picks herself back up and carries on.

  With all of this in mind, I wanted to show the whole frustration, annoyance and also the disappointment too. I can imagine that she would want to hit him, not many people would stand all of that. In my monologue it starts out angry but not too angry then about half way it shows her actual vulnerability that she really has. She seems like the type of character that tries to be strong and would not show any sadness or being down at any point in front of anybody. I tried to portray these characteristics; she has many different emotions in the monologue obviously being so confused.

  After my monologue is when we see Jack for the first time and showing everything she does for him. She does actually like him and is trying but we can see that he is not really that interested; he is a lot more worried with himself to worry over others. We now see the bad side of Luba's life, the ignorance towards her and how much frustration she must have from all of the stress.

  All of this information has a direct impact on how her monologue should be performed, it should be loud, it should be brash, angry, hurt, brave, etc. I have incorporated these feelings and emotions into how I used the monologue, I shown the hurt side but also the ambitious brave side too.

  The theme of this play is not very straight forward; the whole play is just Luba thinking about her past three encounters with three different men, each experience more different than the other. The play is all based on her memories within her love life, with the odd discussion towards the clarinet player in which he never speaks back, just answers through clarinet notes. However I would say that the theme is love and heartbreak. There are sad moments, angry moments, nice moments, etc.

As You Like It by William Shakespeare

I have found the modern translation for this Shakespeare monologue, here is the original:

“Think not I love him, though I ask for him.

'Tis but a peevish boy—yet he talks well—

But what care I for words? Yet words do well

When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

It is a pretty youth—not very pretty—

But sure he’s proud—and yet his pride becomes him.

He’ll make a proper man. The best thing in him

Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue

Did make offense, his eye did heal it up.

He is not very tall—yet for his years he’s tall.

His leg is but so-so—and yet ’tis well.

There was a pretty redness in his lip,

A little riper and more lusty red

Than that mixed in his cheek: ’twas just the difference

Betwixt the constant red and mingled damask.

There be some women, Silvius, had they marked him

In parcels as I did, would have gone near

To fall in love with him; but for my part

I love him not nor hate him not; and yet

I have more cause to hate him than to love him.

For what had he to do to chide at me?

He said mine eyes were black and my hair black

And, now I am remembered, scorned at me.

I marvel why I answered not again.

But that’s all one: omittance is no quittance.

I’ll write to him a very taunting letter,

And thou shalt bear it. Wilt thou, Silvius?”

And here is the modern version:

“Don’t think I’m in love with him just because I’m asking about him. He’s an irritable boy, though he speaks well. But what do I care about words? And yet, words are a good thing when the man speaking them is pleasant to listen to. He’s good-looking, but not too good-looking. He’s awfully proud, but his pride suits him. He’ll grow up to be a proper man. The best thing about him is his complexion: as fast as he offends me with words, his pretty face heals the wound. He’s not very tall, but he’s tall enough for his age. His legs aren’t great, but they’re alright. His lips were nice and red, a little more lively and passionate than the red that was in his cheeks—one was pure red and the other more pink. There are women out there, Silvius, who would have nearly fallen in love with him after inspecting him as closely as I have. But I don’t love him or hate him—though I suppose I have more reason to hate him than love him. What right did he have to scold me like that? He said my eyes and my hair were black and, now that I think of it, he scorned me. I’m surprised I didn’t bite back. But no matter—I’ll get back at him soon enough. I’ll write him a taunting letter, and you can deliver it. Will you do that for me, Silvius?”

“Phebe: A young shepherdess, who disdains the affections of Silvius. She falls in love with Ganymede, who is really Rosalind in disguise, but Rosalind tricks Phoebe into marrying Silvius.” (http://www.sparknotes.com/shakespeare/asyoulikeit/characters.html)

Just before my monologue happens, Phebe is talking to Silvius and he is sharing his love for her to her. However she doesn’t like him like that, she tells him “isn’t my friendship enough?” but he replies that he “wants” her. They talk about it for a while with him telling Phebe how she is his love at first sight, until Rosalind comes in telling him to not fall for her (Phebe is falling for her, Rosalind is dressed as a man), “she is pretty but not that pretty”. She tells her “I’m telling you, don’t fall in love with me. I’m more false than the promises a man makes while drunk.” They leave and Phebe is still thinking about Rosalind, she tells Silvius about her love at first sight but hasn’t yet admitted that she likes her yet, that’s when my monologue begins.

  After the monologue, I think Silvius realizes that Phebe has fallen for another and not him. He tells her that he will give the letter to “him” for her, he still must love her. This all has a direct impact on how I should have performed my monologue, knowing all of this I think that this character comes across as quite stubborn, in love, strong usually but for love can go weak at the knees, etc.

  When reading out the monologue it should be embarrassed in some parts as I don’t think she wants anyone to know she is actually in love just yet as she would be looked down on with the way he treats her. It should involve a lot of movement as it is a scene of confusion and what to do next, in reality you would naturally pace around the room while thinking about all of these things. It should be bold in parts too, for example when she comes to the conclusion of how he treats her badly that should get more angry in tone subtly and then as it comes to an end go back softly again.

  The theme of “As You Like It” is a comedy, one of Shakespeare’s most famous comedies. It involves cross dressing and gender change too. There are also themes of love quite clearly; however the theme of the monologue is mainly about love. Phebe talks about how she doesn’t love him but we can tell that she does she is just hiding from the fact, she is in denial.

  I enjoyed this monologue because out of the classical I looked at I related to this the most so I knew that I could perform and remember this one the best. I like it and I will not only use it for the assessments but also my drama school auditions too.

I performed "The Lady and the Clarinet by Michael Christofer playing Luba", then for my second performance I was told to use "As You Like It by William Shakespeare playing Phebe". I would say that my strongest performance from the two was my first as I used a lot of energy and facial expression in this one, I was also a lot more confident using this monologue because I connected more with this one than the other. It worked well and I was happy coming out from the audition process knowing that I did it to the best of my ability. My classical monologue was good but not as good as it could have been and has been in my rehearsals, I messed up on a few words and had to take a minute to think too. I am glad with the final monologues that I chose and I thought that they worked well for me, the characters contrasted and fit well.

The call back
A Day in the Death of Joe Egg by Peter Nichols
"The play centres on a couple who are struggling to save their marriage whilst trying to raise their only child, who has epilepsy, uses a wheelchair and is unable to communicate. Caring for her has occupied nearly every moment of her parent's lives since her birth, and this has taken a heavy toll on their marriage - which is slowly falling apart. The parents try to use humour to enable them to cope with this exhausting situation and Sheila, her mother, tries to give Joe as much of a life as she can. Her father, Bri, on the other hand wants the child institutionalized. This play is based on Nichols' own experiences of raising a handicapped child." (http://www.benchtheatre.org.uk/plays70s/joeegg.php)

  From recently watching the performance I am still happy about how I performed the monologue in the way that I did. Before the monologue happens we meet “Bri” (Brian), Sheila and eventually Joe. We realize the kind of life that they both have, a very frustrating and hectic one. It is quite a funny play but also quite risky too. The monologue happens quite early into the play and is the first time we see Sheila’s real feelings on everything that is going on so it is a very important scene. Just before this scene we see Brian talking to Joe (but not really talking to her, as he says “it’s like talking to a brick wall”) about Sheila, saying how she is with the good and bad. The two characters are in two different rooms and we get a feel for their personalities already. Sheila is a very hopeful character; she wants what is best for her daughter but also keeps a few things to herself to not annoy anybody. She is a careful character and very realistic. Brian on the other hand is a typical man; he would remind you of somebody like your granddad. He says exactly what he thinks and is quite sceptical of many things too. How Sheila is hopeful that Joe will have a miracle, Brian is quite realistic more than anything and just doesn’t get involved in all of that.

  Through the monologue real feelings are revealed for the first time in the play. I tried to incorporate all of this into how I portrayed the monologue, feelings and emotions of sadness, betrayal, anger of bottled up emotions, etc. Sheila seems a very reserved and kept back character so this is the first time she actually “blows her top”. I enjoyed performing the monologue with this in mind because I like the strong will of it, it’s the first time she isn’t so reserved and we find out things from her past too, it gets interesting. After the monologue however we find out a lot more like how it all happened at the birth, how she found out about her daughter by numerous doctors, her true feelings on the people closest to her, etc.

  We see flashbacks of her life and get pity for the character. We begin to see her traumatic yet hopeful life problems and how she copes with the issues too. Strangely, the theme of the play to me is comedy, a more dark humour but still quite funny. I enjoyed the play and how it was all set out, I am glad that I chose my monologue from this play, it works well with me and even though I can’t relate to the actual situation itself I can relate to the characters emotions and feelings when she is talking about it all. I used emotion memory when performing, but I won’t be using this particular monologue for my drama school auditions however as my other contemporary monologue is a lot closer to my age range, and I have a lot more passion to that monologue than this one even though I did enjoy it.

Last minute change

I have come to realize when looking at my requirements for the drama school's I have chosen I needed to change my chosen classical monologue. The key points I have broke down from the four school's are that:

• I need two classical monologues, one Shakespeare and one Jacobean
• The Jacobean monologue needs to be from either; Marlowe, Webster or Jonson
• They cannot last any longer than 2 minutes
• One needs to be Pre-1800's (I will use the Shakespeare monologue for this)

I have timed myself reading out the two monologues to make sure that they are both under 2 minutes and they both are. My two chosen monologues now are:

1.) Dido, Queen of Carthage by Christopher Marlowe (written in 1825)

DIDO: Speaks not Æneas like a conqueror?

O blessed tempests that did drive him in!

O happy sand that made him run aground!

Henceforth you shall be our Carthage gods.

Ay, but it may be, he will leave my love,

And seek a foreign land call'd Italy:

O that I had a charm to keep the winds

Within the closure of a golden ball;

Or that the Tyrrhene sea were in mine arms,

That he might suffer shipwreck on my breast,

As oft as he attempts to hoist up sail!

I must prevent him; wishing will not serve.--

Go bid my nurse take young Ascanius,

And bear him in the country to her house;

Æneas will not go without his son;

Yet, lest he should, for I am full of fear,

Bring me his oars, his tackling, and his sails.

What if I sink his ships? O, he will frown!

Better he frown than I should die of grief.

I cannot see him frown; it may not be:

Armies of foes resolv'd to win this town,

Or impious traitors vow'd to have my life,

Affright me not; only Æneas frown

Is that which terrifies poor Dido's heart:

Not bloody spears, appearing in the air,

Presage the downfall of my empery,

Nor blazing comets threaten Dido's death;

It is Æneas' frown that ends my days.

If he forsake me not, I never die;

For in his looks I see eternity,

And he'll make me immortal with a kiss.

2.) As You Like It by William Shakespeare (written in 1599)

PHEBE: Think not I love him, though I ask for him;

'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well.

But what care I for words? Yet words do well

When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

It is a pretty youth; not very pretty;

But sure he's proud; and yet his pride becomes him.

He'll make a proper man. The best thing in him

Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue

Did make offense, his eye did heal it up.

He is not very tall; yet for his year's he's tall.

His leg is but so so; and yet 'tis well.

There was a pretty redness in his lip,

A little riper and more lusty red

Than that mixed in his cheek; 'twas just the difference

Betwixt the constant red and mingled damask.

There be some women, Silvius, had they marked him

In parcels as I did, would have gone near

To fall in love with him; but, for my part,

I love him not nor hate him not; and yet

I have more cause to hate him than to love him;

For what had he to do to chide at me?

He said mine eyes were black and my hair black;

And, now I am rememb'red, scorned at me.

I marvel why I answered not again.

But that's all one; omittance is no quittance.

I'll write to him a very taunting letter,

And thou shalt bear it. Wilt thou, Silvius?

My next plan of action is to learn the monologues and get more familiar with the two plays for my next few auditions too.

Rehearsal Process and Feedback

9.01.2015

Previously I have been told to use more energy and not go monotone so it is key that I remember these regular problems and work on them so that my monologues work well. I will keep my energy high when needed and expand my vocal range when talking too.
I checked with Daniel if I could use the monologue "Lady and the Clarinet" without using an American accent (as it is an American play), and he said I could as long as it still sounds right, and it does.
When I read out my second monologue from "lady" I received feedback on it which was:
1.) Don't be too monotone.
2.) Use more gestures and movement.
3.) Show more anger towards people like the secretary, so put on a voice of irritation to sort of take the mick out of her.
4.) Show more enthusiasm.
5.) Pronounce my words better to show that this character might be a more higher class.

I will use this feedback to better my monologue speech and will also think about the comments when performing my other two monologues too.

Rehearsals
So far I have come to the conclusion of not doing the American accent from my second monologue and also I have timed each monologue and they are all under 2 minutes which I wanted. I will keep going over my monologues and memorize all three so that I can start working on them properly.

Analysis of speeches

9.01.2014

1.) "Shiela" - A day in the death of Joe Egg
2.) "Luba" - Lady and the Clarinet

A day in the death of Joe Egg monologue
Tone: Irritated and annoyed.
Style: Naturalistic, I would have to perform this as real as I could but I think it fits my personality as I would put it across quite annoyed and emotional. I would use emotion memory as I have been in the exact situation before and this would show the similar emotions.
Physicality: She sounds young but not too young, maybe in her early 20's so I wouldn't change much about my physicality as it is so natural and she is young.

Lady and the clarinet monologue
Tone: Humiliated and worried.
Style: Naturalistic but also a comedy, I would have to perform this in good time so that the comedy of it shows and works to my advantage. If I rush this piece it won't be funny and it won't work too, so speaking it slowly and leaving some pauses for effect will hopefully make this work for me.
Physicality: Luba sounds young but not as young as my first character, from reading a synopsis of the play she has been married before but there is no mention of this in my monologue so I think it is still okay to use for one of my audition speeches. I will play her naturally but also slightly on edge and annoyed too, showing this in my closed body language.

Practitioners: "Joe Egg"
I would say that the most similar practitioner to the style of this monologue would be Stanislavsky. This is because he uses a lot of internal, emotion memory and this monologue uses a lot of this for me as I have felt the same feelings as this character. I will use emotion memory for this monologue and this will make it real too.
Practitioners: "Lady"
The practitioners closest to this monologue would probably be Berkoff and also Stanislavsky because Berkoff shows a big and bold approach which would be shown in the angry parts of the monologue where she imitates the secretary, but then I would also say Stanislavsky because of the emotion memory and the internal emotions.

The observable differences between how I will perform these two monologues are the first will be a lot more irritated but also show a sadness towards the men in her life. The second will be shown more embarrassed and also quite angry too. This is where the practitioners come into it, their techniques will help me to show different vital performance skills like using emotion memory to make it a lot more real and also being bolder and more extreme in parts too.
I will approach both very natural but with a key of over exaggeration to them too. I will approach the first more quieter and shy of talking to people about the problems then the second a lot more bold and really quite angry to show a clear contrast.
Iambic Pentameter will come into how I perform these monologues too, with when to pause and when to not. There are a lot more pauses in "lady" than the first monologue so this technique is used a lot more then.

Shiela
I chose this monologue because as soon as I read it I knew it was just me. It really just said everything that I once thought, it connected with me a lot. I had to pick this monologue because I knew that I could use emotion memory for it and it would be very natural when presenting it. When analyzing this monologue I could see that it is about a woman who is in a controlling, jealous relationship with someone. She wants to get to know other people but knows that she can't because of the jealousy, she has hardly any freedom but is quite a sympathetic person too. She is trying to stop the control by getting away for a while but knows that the other person won't like the idea of it, she gets really annoyed at one point talking about how he always gets his own way in life but she can't stand that. I really enjoy this monologue and I hope it will go well as it fits so well.
The genre of this monologue is hard to say, it could be comedy ("that mole on his face - you saw that"), or it could possibly be drama. The style is quite sad but also very powerful in what she says, it is sympathetic and maybe romantic in who she is talking about. This monologue will work with my own vocal capacity and also my physicality too. There is nothing outrageous about it and it is very normal, it can be done in my own accent and it can relate to my life. It will show the drama schools a real view of me so they get to know the real me without really putting on a character or changing much about myself, this is a big reason why I love this monologue.

Luba
I chose this monologue because I wanted to contrast my two monologues and as this is a comedy piece that is what I wanted without going too over the top. It shows my humor of being quite blunt with that one line at the end of the big story which will tell the schools something about me as they only get around 5 minutes with me in the audition process, I want to show something real. This monologue is about a woman who has not been called back from a man so she goes into his work for contact, but it doesn't all go to plan. She ends up completely humiliating herself and it not working out for her. This suits me well because I can think of a situation just like this one to use emotion memory when presenting. The speech is also very close to mine so I wouldn't have to change much about my performance from real life, the monologue is how I would probably write it, it fits me well.
The genre is a comedy and very natural, the style is also very natural but also quite big and bold at certain points in the speech. I like this because it shows my humor and also will allow me to be slightly different from my first monologue showing a contrast.
It also works well with my physical and vocal abilities, I will be more loud in this speech and show a lot more movement than the first through gestures against the secretary and just general annoyance. I will move around a lot more and will have more expression in my face too as this is a stronger character than my first.
The only problem I faced with this monologue was that it is an American play and I didn't want to do the accent as I am not confident enough with it, but as there are no American words or slang I can keep my normal accent with it.

Chossen Choices

9.01.2014

Contemporary
1.) "Sheila" - A day in the death of Joe Egg by Peter Nichols
2.) "Luba" - Lady and the Clarinet by Michael Cristofer

Classical
1.) "Ariel" - The Tempest by William Shakespeare
2.) "Donna Clara" - Beware of smooth water by Pedro Calderon de la Barca

I chose these monologues because they fit the requirements from my chosen drama schools and they also connected with me too. The requirements and other information are (in order of audition):

Guilford
- One classical and one contemporary.
- Manchester audition, February 20th 2015 at 9.45am.
- Apply through UCAS.
- Classical: not over 2 minutes, pre-1800's.
- Contemporary: post-1950's, not over 2 minutes, in my own accent and fits my age.
- May be asked to take part in workshop exercises.
- You may be asked to perform again.

LAMDA
- Classical: Elizabethan/ Jacobean monologue.
- Contemporary: 20th/21st century.
- No longer than 3 minutes per monologue with a clear contrast.
- There will be an interview.
- Audition in Liverpool, 14th March 2015 at 11.30am.

Mountview
- Classical: Shakespeare monologue.
- Contemporary: Written after 1979.
- No longer than 2 minutes
- Movement and improvisation workshop.
- Audition in Manchester, 21st Feburary 2015.

RADA
- Audition in Manchester, 16th February 2015 at 9am.
- 3 speeches, 1 contemporary and 2 classical, 2 minutes each.
- Classical: need to learn two.
- Contemporary: after 1960, do not use Chekhov or Shaw.
- Possibly will be asked to perform second classical monologue.

Monologue reviews

I wanted to do more research into the monologue that I have picked so far and also continue the search for more monologues that I can use.

"Kirstie - 17, Naive and innocent at first glance, but she has grown up playing the same head games as her mother."
"In the play, a seventeen year old teenager Kirstie get's caught sneaking home after curfew. Her mother, Sarah, has been waiting up with a bottle for company. Sarah's thirty-four, which, if you'll do the math, explains why she's so distraught about Kirstie being out with a boy... Michael. Kirstie's first crush.
Years of bitter conflicts gradually erupt as Sarah and Kirstie finally confront the unspoken issues between them, including Sarah's conviction that becoming a mother at 17 ruined her life. Micheal's arrival after Kirstie has fled in tears only makes things worse; but eventually, as the layers of lies and truths wielded as weapons are stripped away, the core of their relationship is exposed - and can be rebuilt."

I have decided not to do this monologue however as I realised that you would have to read this out in an American accent and my accent isn't too good. I have however continued my research for a better monologue and I have found one that I like that is British.

Play: a day in the death of joe egg

Character: Sheila

Writer: Pether Nichols

This is the first monologue that I have actually connected with, it suits me very well with my personality and actual real experiences so I can put this into my emotion when reading it. It can be take many different ways too, funny, sad, angry, etc. that's one of my favourite things about it. I am going to read the whole play and hopefully still really enjoy it, maybe even more. I am glad I am doing this monologue instead of my previous chosen monologue from past curfew as this one fits me more and that will help when learning it too.

Searching for final monologues: 3

Play: All's well that end's well

Character: Helena

Writer: William Shakespeare

I confess

Here on my knee before high heaven and you,

That before you, and next unto high heaven,

I love your son.

My friends were poor but honest; so's my love.

Be not offended, for it hurts not him

That he is loved of me. I follow him not

By any token of presumptuous suit,

Nor would I have him till I do deserve him;

Yet never know how that desert should be.

I know I love in vain, strive against hope;

ptious and intensible sieve

I still pour in the waters of my love

And lack not to lose still. Thus, Indian-like,

Religious in mine error, I adore

The sun that looks upon his worshipper

But knows of him no more. My dearest madam,

Let not your hate encounter with my love,

For loving where you do; but if yourself,

Whose agèd honor cites a virtuous youth,

Did ever in so true a flame of liking,

Wish chastely and love dearly, that your Dian

Was both herself and Love, O, then give pity

To her whose state is such that cannot choose

But lend and give where she is sure to lose;

That seeks not to find that her search implies,

But, riddle-like, lives sweetly where she dies.

This speech will be for my classical monologue, I feel that out of all of the classical monologues that I have researched this one has been my favourite so far. It can be interpretative in so many more ways than one, it is quite continuous for a classical monologue and it sounds like it is written by a young girl so it fits me too. It sounds sweet which is a difference to the my contemporary monologues, it shows variety and a difference in my other speeches. I also like the fact that this speech isn't really short or too long, it fits in nicely with my other speeches time wise and actually makes sense to me whereas other classical speeches that I have researched didn't. I understood this monologue straight away and this tells me that it works best for me. I like to know what's going on in my speeches and to analyse them but this monologue was easy for me, maybe it is relatable or more than the others. I like how it changes quite a lot, it firstly sounds to me like a confession like a sin has occurred but then when it moves on into the speech it sounds more like a permission ask for love. It then continues and sounds to me like a plea, then back to the sin, then in the end it sounds more like the ending of a story. I will defiantly be researching more into the understanding of this speech so that it makes complete sense to me before I start to memorise it more. I need to fully understand the speech before I make further progress to make sure that it is the correct speech for me, as it is so important for the monologues to be right for me. I will continue my research to see if I can find something else that I can relate to even more.

Play: Twlelfth night
Character: Viola
Writer: William Shakespeare

I left no ring with her. What means this lady?

Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her.

She made good view of me; indeed, so much

That, as methought, her eyes had lost her tongue,

For she did speak in starts distractedly.

She loves me sure; the cunning of her passion

Invites me in this churlish messenger.

None of my lord's ring? Why, he sent her none.

I am the man. If it be so, as 'tis,

Poor lady, she were better love a dream.

Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness

Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.

How easy is it for the proper false

In women's waxen hearts to set their forms!

Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we,

For such as we are made of, such we be.

How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly;

And I poor monster, fond as much on him;

And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.

What will become of this? As I am man,

My state is desperate for my master's love.

As I am woman, now alas the day!

What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe?

O Time, thou must untangle this, not I;

It is too hard a knot for me t' untie!

This is another classical monologue that I could include in my monologue performances. I like it because it is comical, it can be done with such whit and passion that it could work really strongly and I haven't chosen a comical piece yet. This could be a good option for me as I haven't yet found another comical classical piece for females so it would be very original and also very different to my other monologues. I like the speech itself and could do so much with it, I would have to do some more research into this monologue however so that I fully understand it because there are some things that I still am not 100% with. I do prefer at the minute my first chosen classical monologue because I "connected" with it a lot more than this speech, however it would be a lot more original to pick this speech. I will analyse it more then decide as there are a few words in this speech that I don't understand but for the overall feel of it I do actually like it.

Searching for final monologues: 2

Play: Past curfew
Character: Kirstie
Author: Arthur M. Jolly

She's there, with her parents, and there's this guy standing next to them, watching the tigers. And the Tigers aren't moving. They're like a rug, so this guy takes his cigarette, and he flicks it at them. Lit cigarette, bounces off the momma tiger - and she like shrugs, gets up and walks away. The cigarette lands in this -- Like a clump of dried grass, which catches fire. There's a little fire, burning inside the tiger pit. And the baby tiger comes over. And he's never seen fire before. Completely fascinated. He pats at it, and swipes at it. Like a cat playing. Mom says their paws must be real thick, because he keeps batting, and playing with this burning grass. And her mom runs off to find a zoo keeper and get the cigarette guy in trouble or whatever, and my mom just watches the baby tiger trying to claw the burning grass. And finally he pounces, and tries to bite the flames. And that's when he gets burned. He leaps straight up in the air, yowling and screaming.... and goes off running to his mother. My mom loves that story, because he goes running back to his momma. That's like her go-to "I told you so" story...

It's stupid - the whole thing. The tiger should've jumped in the moat. There was water right there. He ran the wrong way. All this time, my mom missed the whole point of the story. What's your mom gonna do if your on fire? Just get in the water.

I really like this monologue and enjoyed reading it because I felt like I could relate to it. It was very simple but mysterious, it quirky but I would really consider using this as one of my contemporary speech monologues. To me it is a fascinating speech and draws the listener in. It also fits me as it sounds like a teenage girl is reading it, I love how it goes from one end of the scale dramatically back to the other so quickly. I like the change in pace and i like that we don't know what type of speech this is, it is sort of witty but also quite dark and mysterious too. I will defiantly consider this monologue as one of mine and will come to a conclusion after more research. The cons with this monologue could be that it is quite short, it doesn't entail much and it has to be fast paced in my mind for it to work how it should. Also I would have to be confident to read this monologue, it seems to me that the person reading it should be a typical teenager, short cocky sentences, taking the mic out of little things (her mothers favourite story), etc. but I do like the element of confusion in this. It tells a story without being obvious and it is intriguing. When reading this speech aloud so much physicality can be used throughout the story telling, when she says "And finally, he pounces, and tries to bite the flames." The simple sentences like this throughout make it more interesting to me than other monologues I have researched.

Play: I Am A Camera

Character: Sally Bowles
Writer: John Van Druten

You know, Chris, in some ways now I wish I'd had that kid. The last day or two, I've been sort of feeling what it would be like to be a mother. Do you know, last night I sat here for a long time by myself, and held this teddy bear in my arms, and imagined it was my baby. I felt a most marvelous sort of shut-off feeling from the rest of the world. I imagined how it would grow up, and how after I'd put it to bed at nights, I'd go out and make love to filthy old men to get money to pay for it's clothes and food. No, I wouldn't think of myself at all- just it. It must be rather wonderful never to think of yourself, only of someone else. I suppose that's what people mean by religion. Do you think I could be a nun, Chris? I really rather think I could. All pale and pious, singing sort of faint and lovely hymns all day long. (beat) I feel as though I'd lost faith in men. Even you, Christopher, if you were to go out in the street now, and be run over by a taxi, I should be sorry in a way, of course, but I shouldn't really care a damn. Oh, I didn't mean that, of course, darling, at least, not personally. You mustn't mind what I say when I'm like this. I see now why people say operations like that are wrong. They are. You know, the whole business of having children is all wrong. It's a most wonderful thing, and it ought to come from something rare, and special, and sort of privileged, instead of just... that!

I am unsure about this monologue, however I enjoy the "unsteadiness" of it. I like the risk factor in this speech, yet I think it sounds similar in tone to the other contemporary speech that I have already picked and I prefer that one to this monologue also. Another speech that I have been looking at and researching also sounds like the type of speech like this and again, I prefer the other. I do like the type of character that it entails though, I like the sort of run down, careless but cares so much person it makes out to be. This character sounds like it has a real history and I like how it has a backstory to it without saying. The speech itself is quite short but has a big impact. If I continue to research and don't enjoy reading the other speeches as this I could eventually come back to this as I do still consider it as a big option. It is very assertive and like another speech I picked, it's something that I haven't played before and could be a good challenge for me as a performer and show how versatile I am. It would prove a lot if I pulled this speech off so it is still in my top list. The only thing that I don't like about this monologue would be the lack of emotion expressed, I know that obviously that's how the character should be (quite aware of themselves and reserved, rarely shows emotion) but with the lines in this, it could easily be interpretatated to be more sad and a bigger break down than it makes out to be. I like the detail that it goes into, the emotion behind each word and the conversation it carries. It leaves the listener wanting to know more and be interested in the characters actual life. A lot of questions continue with this speech but I will continue my research and look back over it before evaluation on my final decision.

Searching for final monologues: 1

Play: The Vampire Monologues

Writer: Wade Bradford

Character: MORGENROTH

Thanks, Mangle, keep up the good work. William, as always, I appreciate your groveling - you've outdone yourself this evening. Slinking backwards, nice touch. Remind the others that I will be inspecting the coffins at 4am. You, the new blood. Let's have a seat, I want to take a good look at you. Grab a chair, go on, grab a chair. Let's form a semi-circle. You can get a better look at each other. Don't make eye contact with me, just yet. It's not a good idea at this time. It will just make you uncomfortable, or you might implode, one of the two. So, I suppose the first thing to do is introduce ourselves and talk about why we are here. I am Morgenroth, the owner of this mortuary. I'm also a part time florist. These orchids around you, all of the flowers on the estate, I did all of those. And I'm a full time vampire, of course. The oldest one in North America, actually. If you are wondering why I'm not gloomy and dark, or scary and over dramatic like our friend William just now, it's simply because I don't have to be. It goes without saying that I could kill each of you with the snap of a finger. I can afford to be polite. I like politeness. And if you stay on with us, you might feel that this is a school for manners rather than a breeding ground for blood suckers. And that's how it should be. I was turned thousands of years ago, in ancient Germania, around the time Rome was falling. It took me centuries to understand the value of politeness. Humility. Self-awareness of my own fraility. You see, the mythos that surrounds vampires leaves you with the impression that we are immortal. But that of course is not the case. We may not grow old. But we die. Wooden stakes through the heart. Exposure to sunlight. Beheaded, drawn, quartered, your limbs thrown into a bonfire. That doesn't sound like immortality to me. Immortality is only possible if one is invulnerable. And since I can't go for a stroll in the park on a sunny day, you'll understand why I laugh when the storybooks use the word immortal. And don't get me started on the word "sparkle." When a beam of direct sunlight shines upon your skin, believe me, you will not be sparkling. I have known, I have seen, many vampires die. True, some I have killed myself. But many... Many were friends.

I did really enjoy reading this monologue but I have decided not to use it as it isn't really "me". I have decided against it, I would say that it would be better for a male part but would be fun to do. It is very different to anything I have ever done so far and would be a challenge so however it could still be an option to take a risk which could end positive or a bad thing. I need to think about this option a lot more and research other monologues to see if any fit me any more. The pros and cons for this speech would be:

Pro's

*  Its a challenge.

*  I have never done anything like this before, it could actually work for me if I tried it.

*  It's a risk.

*  It seems very smooth and confident throughout the whole approach.

*  It's quite "weird and wonderful", it's a very captivating and interesting speech.

Cons

*  Could be a negative risk, I might not fit the character.

*  If not spoke confidently and so smoothly it would change the whole emotion and feelings from it.

*  If lines are missed out it might not make sense.

I will research some more then make a final decision but for now I won't be using this monologue.

Play: Our town

Character: Emily Webb

Writer: Unknown

(softly, more in wonder than in grief)I can't bear it. They're so young and beautiful. Why did they ever have to get old? Mama, I'm here. I'm grown up. I love you all, everything. - I cant look at everything hard enough. (pause, talking to her mother who does not hear her. She speaks with mounting urgency) Oh, Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me. Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother, Mama. I married George Gibbs, Mama. Wally's dead, too. Mama, his appendix burst on a camping trip to North Conway. We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a moment now we're all together. Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's look at one another. (pause, looking desperate because she has received no answer. She speaks in a loud voice, forcing herself to not look at her mother) I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. (she breaks down sobbing, she looks around) I didn't realize. All that was going on in life and we never noticed. Take me back - up the hill -  to my grave. But first: Wait! One more look. Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover's Corners? Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking? and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths? and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you. (she asks abruptly through her tears) Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? - every, every minute? (she sighs) I'm ready to go back. I should have listened to you. That's all human beings are! Just blind people.

This is one of my favourite speeches that I have read throughout my research so far. The emotion makes it for me and how much it can be played on. It is also so different to the other contemporary piece that I want to perform, showing variety in my performance. It ends so dramatically and has so many pauses that adds to the emphasis of the seriousness of this speech. The stage directions will also help so it's not boring just standing in hysterics, I like the movement when delivering a speech because I think there is so much you can do whilst talking even in day to day it's more natural to move your hands when describing things, etc. However I would change "mama" to mum because this makes more sense to me and would allow it to flow more naturally too. This will make it a lot easier for me to read it out by changing this one small thing and I know that it will sound a lot bette. Obviously to use this speech and perform it I will really need to commit myself to the monologue, it needs a lot of energy and emotion to pull it off. It can't just be read in a sad voice, if I am doing this speech I will go for it. I think it will be a challenge but if I get it right it could sound great! I believe that I can deliver this speech as well as I possibly can and I won't speed through it, it will take a lot of time and effort but should be moving to watch and give a connection to the audience in some way by its feeling and even just some of the words. It should be simply captivating and grab the audiences attention from the start, it's a bold speech.